If you asked anybody to describe me with one word I’d expect something along the lines of “crazy, gobby or funny” and maybe a few explicit terms from people who don’t like me but we will ignore those. I’ve always been the same; at every parent’s evening at school my parents would hear the same line from every single teacher “she’s very chatty”. Although at the time my parents can’t have been best pleased, nowadays I’m very proud to be called chatty because I know that I haven’t let time change me.
I’ve been in so many alien experiences in my lifetime; I moved schools, houses and across the UK when I was around 13- one of the most important times of a teenage life. In my old “life” I never really fit in, I had friends however I never really felt like I belonged to a particular group. After moving, I had the same issue- I wasn’t the “cool” kid, or the “clever” kid or any group in between. Several times I felt the need to change, maybe I needed to be a different person in order to fit in. One day pretty soon after I moved I decided to try to be “cool”, I backcombed my hair (
yes that used to be the cool thing to do) pierced my own nose (I was pretty dramatic back then) and thought I was the coolest kid on the block. “Edgy” Tamsin lasted about 24 hours before I got bored and realised nobody cared- although I do still have my nose pierced- I must have become attached to it. Now at the ripe old age of 21 I can look around and admit that nobody seems to fit in these stereotypes and have the best bunch of friends.
Many times I even thought about deleting this blog because I worried people would find it cringe, boring, tacky or all of the above but I remembered it’s something I wanted to do and realised it didn’t matter what people thought. My point is, the thing I love about myself the most (and something I’d like to think people think about me) is that I am myself. I am weird, loud, chatty, just as I was back in primary school; I’m messy, disorganised and lazy (ok, probably not so good) but I am also loyal, hardworking and caring (if I do say so myself). Whenever I look back at old photos, I can see that I have grown as a person (in personality and by about 3 stone) but I can also appreciate that I have kept all of these things about me that I could have easily given up a long time ago. These days people try so hard to be liked and sacrifice their personality to look good online or to seem a certain way but I have found when I am myself people are more receptive. I hope that I can look back in the next 21 years and think the same about myself (probably another 3 stone heavier and probably minus the nose piercing).